I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
