but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
