Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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