we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
