i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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