the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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