maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
