my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
