You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
