Cold hands, warm shart.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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