Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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