Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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