Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
