Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
