I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
