I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
you inspire me to be a worse person
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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