It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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