I just made out with a guy for $7.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
