You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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