Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
