No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
