honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
