I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize