Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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