Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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