yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
