Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i came on her dog
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
