I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
