3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
