Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
