Pappa wants mamma naked
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
