Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
