Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
