just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
