i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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