I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize