Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
