Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
