Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
