I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
