I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
