just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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