Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Randomize
