i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
