Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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