so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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