i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
