i may or may not be watching the land before time
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
