dude i'm inner monologue high
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
