So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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