My Higher Power is John Stamos
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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