i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
