Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
