bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
