Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You work out of a Hotel?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
