it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
