windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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