just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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