...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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