He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
