my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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