I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
